Guest Blogger: Killian Leboff

 As you all know, The Gospel welcomes, no encourages our patrons to lend their voices to this blog. Tonight's guest is Killian Leboff, a 3 year old Fox Red Labrador who lives in the same house as I do. She is my best friend so I was ultra-psyched when she mentioned that she wanted to blog tonight. Killian wanted to focus on her life as a dog and some of life's mysteries in this entry, so ladies and gents, we proudly give you The Gospel According to Killian:

 Humans always talk about how they envy a dog's life. The truth is they are 100% right in doing so. I sleep for 65% of the day. I do not have any real responsibilities. Sure, if I defecate inside the house I'll get yelled at, but thats no big deal. It is almost condoned. Masters will get mad at us canines but then they will feel bad about it and say something like, "What do you know, you are just a dog? I can't stay mad at you." Now, if one of you humans decides to have a bowel movement on a rug, I assure you the result will not be the same (Unless you are senile). In fact the whole experience will be different. Not only will the perpetrator have to clean up his or her own feces (something a dog will never have to do) they will be scolded and embarrassed. 

 Another great thing about being a dog is, getting pet and scratched by strangers. There is nothing I love more then when I am being walked and a stranger comes up to my master and me and says in a high pitched voice "Awwwww, she's sooo cutteeee." And starts to pet and rub me all over. I will wag my tail until they leave and then it is on with the walk. Speaking of walks, completely overrated by dogs and humans alike. If I want to walk, I will walk. There is no reason to wake me up from a nap to go outside for a few minutes so I can go to the bathroom. 

 There are a few bad things about being a dog though. Wooden floors are so tough to run on with claws. Leashes suck. And the fact that when a really sucky movie like Armageddon is on, we can not change the channel. We have not figured out televisions yet, but we are getting there. 

 All in all, as a dog growing up in a nice, suburban town in the northeast I can't complain much. Whoever said, "Its a dog eat dog world out there" is an imbecile. Dogs don't really eat other dogs. Plus, it is a dog eat free food world out there. I have never paid for a meal in my life. 

Paws Up, A-Town Down.

Killian