Saint Agnes Elementary School.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you my Alma Mater Saint Agnes Cathedral Elementary School:
I was babysitting for my cousins today. At just after 3 PM I had to pick up the oldest one from his bus stop. You could see the excitement in his eyes from a mile away. So when he got all settled after school he was showing me all the stuff he got from his classmates before Christmas break. He then clasped his face in his tiny hands and said "Michael, guess who came to my class today." (I knew the answer, but I played coy) "Who??" I retorted as if I didn't know. (I knew) "Santa!!!!" (I was right) But what came after was the jewel of this whole conversation. Here is the dialogue:
My Cousin: "He had a naughty and nice list with him."
Me: "Oh really? Were you on the nice list?"
Cuz: "Yes I was..."
Me: "Was anyone on the naughty list?"
Primo: "Yes, two kids were, John S. and Matthew D. because they are the baddest boys."
Me: *sound of person picking jaw up off the floor*

So yes. St. Agnes decided they would teach too boys a lesson by putting them on the naughty list and coincidentally ruining their year, causing them to become alcoholics, or maybe Jewish.

Which got me thinking... why isn't there a naughty list for Channukah or however the hell you spell it? Then I remembered, you are all naughty because you killed the savior of the world.

Which got me thinking...in terms of assassinations, who was the most prominent figure to be killed. So here are my assassination power rankings:

1. Jesus Of Nazareth- The Juggernaut from the Holy Land had a future as bright as the sun. To this day he is the only known man to walk on water and that was taken from us. Other notable achievements: Turning water into wine, rising from the dead, multiplying loaves of bread.
2. Abe Lincoln- He really brought the Illnoise. In his spare time he liked to free captives and emancipate. He was a proponent of tall hats and "Lincoln style beards."
   
3. Socrates- Socrates was Sogreat. But he could have been greater if the Greeks were not so damn Gree(k)dy.
4. Martin Luther King The Sequel- He was the only person I know who could so vividly remember every detail of his dream and tell it to 10,000 people. I don't get it. I have had far weirder dreams then a multi-cultural game of hopskotch but I never got to tell the world about it. I blame affirmative action.
5. Tupac Shakur- Also rose from the dead but did Jesus one better. He made music and a movie.

Others Receiving Votes: JFK, William McKinley, John Lennon, Tom Cruise (A guy can dream right?), St. Paul, Aahliyah (don't you dare try to tell me it was an "accident")