Well lets just say today was weird. I found out via Conor Finnegan that my fifth grade English Language Arts teacher is a lesbian. That is just the beginning of the whole saga though. You see she got married the year after we finished fifth grade. She was married for seven years. Well, she got pregnant and then ditched her husband for her lesbian lover. So in essence she used this man to get pregnant because she can not get pregnant with her lesbian lover. So my fifth grade teacher pretty much took advantage of her husband and then kidnapped their kid. Can one kidnap their own kid?? This is pretty damn close. She now teaches at South Side High School and is keeping her job. Here is the kicker, she is the co-president of the gay-straight alliance along with her lover. You can't make this up.
In other news, I have developed a serious talent. I have an 8 can case of Spaghetti-O's. However, I lack a can opener. But do not fret. I get mine. I have become very skilled at opening the cans with a knife and a Qu'ran. I hold the knife on top of the can facing down. I take the Qu'ran in my other hand and slam it down onto the unsuspecting knife. You do this a few times making a square hole on top of the can, then you take the knife and pry open the top of the can so you can pour out the tasty little o's. So all you Qu'ran owners out there, your welcome.
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1 comment:
and you're welcome for that method of opening the cans.
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